Here we tell you why it is hard to say no and how we can be more assertive.

March 22, 2023 0 Comments

Most of us have difficulty saying no, and we often wonder why this is so difficult. Most of the time, it can even cause us to suffer or discomfort.

Setting limits is more complex than we think because there is a specific history behind every person that makes us leave our own needs behind; this is related to some limiting fears, such as the fear of being rejected, the feeling of guilt, the need to be accepted or avoid conflicts.

However, there are things we can do to improve this situation and be more assertive, but first, we must understand what assertiveness means.

How is an assertive person?

When a person is assertive, they know how to express their opinions, feelings, values, or points of view without losing the balance between being respectful to others and themselves. Being assertive is an essential feature to avoid being manipulated and yielding to the pressure of others. Moreover, it is a crucial element in the construction of our self-esteem. On the contrary, not having this quality can negatively affect our self-esteem.

How can we learn to say no?

As we said earlier, there is no magic recipe for learning to say no, but there are things we can do within our individuality that can lead us down the path of assertiveness. Here we tell you more.

1-  Work on introspection

To learn to say no, we first have to look inward and identify those situations in which we have a hard time saying no, as well as the kind of people with whom we have a hard time expressing our feelings or opinions.

Once we identify this, we can carry out some strategies. Some experts recommend using "I feel" when we want to express a feeling instead of blaming the other with phrases like "you do this" or "you need to stop doing that."

2- Pay attention to body language

Our body language says more than we express in words, and if we act confidently, we will validate that what we are saying is true. One way to demonstrate security is to make eye contact with the other person and adopt a proper posture and neutral facial expression.

3- Avoid apologizing too much

The right thing to do is apologize only when is necessary and never too much because this undermines what we are expressing

4- Start with small actions

To be assertive, you must start with small things or actions; this is not something that is achieved overnight since it takes time and practice.

5- Seek help 

The path to assertiveness is not easy, especially if we have spent a lifetime with limiting beliefs in our heads, so it is a good option to seek help if we think we need it. 

In this sense, many specialists can give us the tools and guidance to be more assertive. Among the experts we recommend is Marcela Arrieta, a specialist in emotional healing and pranic healer of great experience with years of outstanding experience in this field, who was recently invited to the program "Breaking the Silence" to talk about this topic.

Remember that growing and becoming the person we want takes lots of patience, perseverance, and dedication.

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